Jelly, Baby Essays on Disability and Vulnerability

I am trying to meet my legs in the silent space between us. But they cannot speak. They have no story to tell without me. Every day I go home. Sit on the couch and remove them from my body. They stand there, still as a statue, and wait for me to open my mouth. In this revelatory collection of lyrical essays, Therese Estacion explores a number of vital themes relating to her life as a disabled person. Defying genre and constraint, Estacion conveys how ableism has impacted her disposition and self-esteem. She also confronts her own internalized ableism and unpacks how she has come to terms with disability in all its complexity. Jelly, Baby fearlessly uncovers the trauma, grief, and rage inherent to the struggle to accept one’ s own vulnerability and reach a place of love. Inspired by the author’ s psychotherapy training, this book is a tender examination of some of the most vulnerable aspects of the self, and a head-on challenge of self-loathing. The result is a beautiful and astute meditation on ableism and a transformative journey deep into the psyche.

THERESE ESTACION is the author of Phantompains, a poetry collection that explores her Filipinx heritage and disability. The book was a finalist in 2021 for both the Foreword INDIES Award for Poetry and the Firecracker Award for Poetry. She has been a guest editor for ARC Poetry Magazine and Feels Zine, and co-curated Smutburger’ s 2023-2024 series. Based in Toronto, Estacion currently teaches poetry at the University of Toronto’ s School of Continuing Studies and is a psychotherapist in training.

Contents Inspiration Porn Once, Exploring the Aswang Complex Jelly, Baby My Prosthetic Legs Post-Mortem