
Trauma-Proofing Your Kids A Parents' Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience
by Levine, Peter A.; Kline, MaggieBuy New
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Summary
Author Biography
Table of Contents
Dedication and Acknowledgments | p. ix |
Foreword | p. xi |
Trauma Is a Fact of Life | p. 1 |
Real-Life Examples of Children We Have Known | p. 4 |
Trauma Is Not Only in the Event | p. 7 |
The Recipe for Trauma | p. 11 |
The Recipe for Resilience | p. 12 |
Building Resilience by Building Sensory Skills through Practice, Practice and More Practice | p. 15 |
Giving Appropriate Support to an Overwhelmed Child | p. 15 |
Simple Steps to Build Resilience | p. 16 |
Developing a Calming Presence | p. 17 |
Getting Acquainted with Your Own Sensations | p. 20 |
Exercise: Noticing Sensations | p. 20 |
Exercise: Exploring Sensations and the Rhythm of Pendulation | p. 24 |
Exercise: Tracking Sensations with a Partner | p. 27 |
Exercise: Making a Sensation Treasure Chest | p. 29 |
First Aid for Trauma Prevention: A Step-by-Step Guide | p. 31 |
Tricks of the Trade: Restoring Resilience through Play, Art and Rhymes | p. 41 |
The Story of Sammy | p. 43 |
Four Principles to Guide Children's Play Toward Resolution | p. 46 |
More Help for Kids through "Make-Believe" Play | p. 54 |
Art Activities: Clay, Play Dough, Painting and Drawing | p. 59 |
Nature and Animal Rhymes Combined with Drawings That Build Resources | p. 64 |
Remedies for Specific Situations: Amusement Park Rides to Zebra Bites | p. 77 |
First Aid for Accidents and Falls | p. 78 |
The Purpose of Touch When Helping a Child in Shock | p. 83 |
The Power of Language to Soothe and Heal | p. 85 |
Exercise: Experiencing the Power of Words | p. 86 |
More Animal Rhymes to Help Your Child Regain Self-Confidence | p. 90 |
A Guide to Constructing a Healing Story | p. 99 |
Prevention of Medical Trauma | p. 102 |
What Parents Can Do to Prepare Children for Surgery or Other Medical Procedures | p. 106 |
When the Medical Procedure Is an Emergency | p. 114 |
Elective Surgeries | p. 116 |
Sensitivity to Your Child's Pain | p. 116 |
A Timely Word about Bullies and School Shootings | p. 122 |
Ages & Stages: Building Confidence by Fostering Healthy Development | p. 125 |
Responding to Your Infant: Issues of Safety and Trust | p. 126 |
Your Toddler's Needs: "Me Do It Myself" | p. 127 |
"Tug of War" with Your Three- to Four-Year-Old | p. 128 |
Your Flirtatious Four- to Six-Year-Old Boy or Girl | p. 130 |
Adolescent Development: Who Am I? | p. 132 |
Sexual Violation: Reducing the Risk and Early Detection | p. 135 |
Sexual Trauma Symptoms | p. 136 |
Reducing the Risk of Sexual Wounds | p. 138 |
What Is Sexual Violation? | p. 140 |
Steps Caregivers Can Take to Decrease Children's Susceptibility | p. 140 |
Games for Kids to Practice Making Boundaries | p. 151 |
Why Most Children Don't Tell: Making It Safe for Them to Tell You | p. 154 |
Date Rape and Other Teen Issues | p. 156 |
Separation, Divorce and Death: Helping Your Child Move through the Grieving Process | p. 159 |
Symptoms of Grief versus Symptoms of Trauma | p. 159 |
Two Views of Divorce: Rosy or Dark? | p. 163 |
Surviving Divorce: A Guide to Preserving Your Child's Wholeness | p. 165 |
Helping Your Child Grieve | p. 176 |
Dealing with the Death of a Pet | p. 178 |
Steps That Help Children Resolve Their Grief | p. 184 |
Exercise: Grief Recovery | p. 185 |
Guerrilla Warfare in Our Neighborhoods: The Real Battle to Protect Kids from Terror | p. 191 |
Models for Change in Hospitals and Medical Centers | p. 192 |
A Peek at a Model Family-Centered Children's Hospital | p. 197 |
Community Crisis Intervention | p. 204 |
A New Model for Crisis Debriefing at School | p. 213 |
Notes | p. 221 |
Bibliography | p. 225 |
Additional Resources | p. 229 |
About the Authors | p. 233 |
Foundation for Human Enrichment | p. 235 |
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
Excerpts
People (especially young people), however, need not lose their resilience through wear and tear. On the contrary, we have the capacity to actually build and increase our resilience as we encounter the stresses and strains of life. Resilient children tend to be courageous. This doesn’t mean that they are attracted to dangerous situations, but rather that they are open and curious as they explore their world with gusto and exuberance. And, in their explorations, they inevitably have their share of rumbles and tumbles, collisions and conflicts.
When resilient kids meet these forces of nature, they are open rather than shut down. Openness, indeed, is the characteristic that most typifies resilient kids. They are open to other children and enjoy sharing with them. At the same time, they are able to set boundaries of their own personal space and their possessions. They are in touch with their feelings, expressing and communicating them in age-appropriate ways. And, most of all, when bad things happen, they have a wondrous capacity (when supported) to breeze through them. They are the happy, lively children we wish we were. Their biggest challenges occur from events that could be potentially traumatic. Let’s delve into what types of life’s circumstances might cause such overwhelming reactions in our kids.
Trauma can result from events that are clearly extraordinary such as violence and molestation, but it can also result from everyday “ordinary” events. In fact, common occurrences such as accidents, falls, medical procedures and divorce can cause children to withdraw, lose confidence, or develop anxiety and phobias. Traumatized children may also display behavioral problems including aggression, hyperactivity and, as they grow older, addictions of various sorts. The good news is that with the guidance of attuned parents and other caregivers who are willing to learn the necessary skills, children at risk can be identified and spared from being scarred for life, regardless of how devastating the events might be or seem.
Parents are, at times, conflicted between protecting their children and permitting them to take the risks that build confidence and competence. It’s a tricky balancing act because as they master their world, children can also be traumatized when the unexpected inevitably happens. As much as you may try to “child-proof” your home, ultimately children—driven by their curiosity—will explore and get hurt. That is how they learn and they will have their share of falls, burns, electrical shocks, animal bites and other encounters with the non-forgiving forces of nature. No matter how hard we try, we cannot close our children off in an impenetrable (and inescapable) bubble of safety.
Our children are frequently exposed to potentially traumatic events. But parents need not despair. It is possible to minimize the effects of the “ordinary” situations mentioned above, as well as those from extraordinary events such as natural and man-made disasters, including violence, war, terrorism and molestation. Are we being ridiculous by proposing that adults can “traumaproof” kids? We don’t believe so. Remember, although pain can’t be avoided . . . trauma is a fact of life . . . but so is resilience, the capacity to spring back.
In this book you will learn practical tools to maximize your child’s resilience so that their equilibrium can be restored when they are stressed to their breaking point. Armed with this “recipe for resilience,” parents and other responsible adults can help to trauma-proof their kids while also generally increasing their tolerance to everyday stress. In this way they can truly become stronger, more caring, joyful and compassionate human beings. The word “trauma” pops up in the headlines of magazines and newspapers regularly. Popular TV shows such as The Oprah Winfrey Show bring understanding to millions of viewers regarding trauma’s gripping effect on body and soul. Trauma’s devastating impact on children’s emotional and physical well-being, mental development and behavior is finally getting the recognition it deserves. Since September 11, 2001, there has been an information blitz on how to cope with catastrophe.
Despite this focus, however, precious little has been written regarding the common causes or the prevention and the non-drug treatment of trauma. Focus instead has been on the diagnosis and the medication of its various symptoms. “Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering.” (1) Fortunately, you—the parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents who nurture and protect children—are in a position to prevent, or at least mitigate, the damaging effects of trauma.
In order to do the most good for the children in your care, first you need to recognize the roots of trauma. Next, we take a closer look at trauma—its myths and realities. In this way you will understand what may cause a child to remain overwhelmed even though the actual danger has passed.
This book will teach you how to help children notice and move through painful sensations and feelings without undue distress...
1. Peter A. Levine, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books, 1997).
Excerpted from Trauma-Proofing Your Kids: A Parents' Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience by Peter A. Levine, Maggie Kline
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