The Dirtiest, Most Politically Incorrect Jokes Ever

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Edition: Original
Format: Paperback
Pub. Date: 2009-10-01
Publisher(s): Ulysses Press
List Price: $14.95

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Summary

DON’T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE? THEN DON’T F*%#&IN’ BUY THIS BOOK!

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.

How do you get a blonde’s eyes to sparkle?
Shine a light in her ear.

What’s the definition of “making love”?
It’s what a woman does while a man’s screwing her.

How does an Englishman know that his wife is dead?
Sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up in the sink.

What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk at the funeral.

Why is a fat woman like a scooter?
They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want you friends to see you on either.

A woman walked into the bank to deposit a large bag of cash.
“Did you hoard all this money yourself?” asked the teller.
“No,” she replied. “My sister whored half of it.”

Author Biography

Allan Pease has been known internationally as ‘Mr. Body Language’ since his Definitive Book Of Body Language became a multi-million seller and the communication bible for organizations worldwide. He was authored eight #1 best sellers in Australia and over 20 million copies of his books have sold worldwide.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. 12
Introductionp. 13
Lawyers and Judgesp. 20
Religionp. 26
Jokes about Womenp. 32
Dogs are Better than Women Because...p. 35
The Last 10 Things a Woman Would Ever Sayp. 37
Jokes about Menp. 39
The Last Ten Things Men Would Ever Sayp. 45
Feminists on Menp. 47
Catholicsp. 55
Magic Lampsp. 59
Accountantsp. 62
Acumenp. 62
Airlinesp. 65
Alcoholicsp. 66
All Mixed Upp. 66
Alternative Medicinep. 68
Animalsp. 68
Anniversariesp. 76
Around the Worldp. 76
Africanp. 76
Australianp. 77
Chinesep. 78
Egyptianp. 79
Frenchp. 79
Greekp. 80
Irishp. 80
Jewishp. 83
Iraqip. 84
Italianp. 85
Japanesep. 86
Mexicanp. 86
Russianp. 87
Scottishp. 88
Swedishp. 90
U.K.p. 91
U.S.p. 92
Vaticanp. 93
Artp. 94
Bar Talkp. 94
Movie Starsp. 95
Blondesp. 95
Buttsp. 101
Business Is Businessp. 102
Condomsp. 103
Confessionsp. 105
Country Lifep. 106
Courtshipp. 111
Royaltyp. 113
Cunning Linguistsp. 115
Armyp. 116
Definitionsp. 118
Dicksp. 119
Medical Problemsp. 122
Disappointmentp. 127
Drunksp. 130
Facts of Lifep. 132
Fairy Talesp. 133
Faithp. 133
Family Planningp. 134
Fartsp. 135
Final Destinationp. 136
Financial Planningp. 136
Fishy Storiesp. 137
Friendsp. 138
Gamblersp. 140
Gaysp. 143
Generous Gesturesp. 147
Get It Rightp. 148
Translationsp. 150
Get Your Own Backp. 152
Golfersp. 153
Good Advicep. 157
Dietsp. 159
Gynosp. 161
Headlinesp. 162
More Irishp. 163
Higher Educationp. 168
Hired Helpp. 169
Hygienep. 170
Couplesp. 172
Incestp. 172
It's a Hard Lifep. 172
Jinxp. 175
Just Dessertsp. 176
Last Ritesp. 177
Lesbiansp. 177
Liarsp. 178
Limelightersp. 179
Loversp. 179
Luckp. 179
Mannersp. 181
Man's Best Friendp. 181
Mixed Feelingsp. 184
Ethnicp. 185
Musiciansp. 186
Nudistsp. 187
Neighborsp. 188
Political Correctnessp. 189
Newlywedsp. 191
A Free Lunchp. 193
Obviously ...p. 193
Oh Shit!p. 194
Oldiesp. 195
One-Upmanshipp. 198
Opportunityp. 199
Oral Hygienep. 199
Parenthoodp. 200
Patientsp. 200
Pearly Gatesp. 201
Pussiesp. 201
Donald Duckp. 203
R.I.P.p. 203
Real Goersp. 206
Red Lightp. 207
Reincarnationp. 209
Reparteep. 210
Researchp. 211
Resourcefulnessp. 211
Bonksp. 213
STDsp. 213
Shaggy Dogsp. 214
Shopping Spreesp. 225
Shrinksp. 227
Singles Barsp. 231
Sports Heroesp. 233
Star Gazersp. 235
The Difference Is...p. 235
Touristsp. 237
Vegetariansp. 239
Vive La Francep. 240
Jerk-Offsp. 243
Unhappy Marriagep. 245
What's in a Name?p. 250
White Collar Crimep. 251
Wild Lifep. 255
Why Oh Why?p. 256
Xmasp. 257
Yes, But...p. 258
Yes, Officerp. 259
You Can Be Stiffp. 261
Zoosp. 263
And Finally...p. 264
Who's the Boss?p. 273
Tasteless Jokesp. 273
Male Chauvinist Jokesp. 275
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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